David White – Suggesting elasticated cap tallies – Genius idea rejected

Every time you join a ship, if you’re a Junior Rating wearing a, what they call square rig, you have to tie a new cap tally onto your cap so HMS Ganges, HMS Fulmar, HM Submarines, HMS Dolphin, er, not so bad once you join submarines because you just wear HM Submarines permanently, whether you’re ashore or on a boat, it’s a mark of qualification but certainly blokes going from ship to ship to ship, and you have to tie it in a tiddly bow over the side of your head.

So when I got to Chatham, I ain’t tying up, you know, and I said to my DO, I said, “I’d like to make a request to see the Commander.” He said, “Why?”, he said.

I said, “I’ve had a good idea.” “What’s that then?” (laughs) He said, “Trust me, you won’t be the first person that thought of it.”

I said, “Why don’t they make these cap tallies on elasticated, so the bow is already tied, elasticated means it’ll fit all sizes of hat and it’s just off one and on the other, everyone’ll be standard.”

He said, “Ok, alright then” and so he put in a request, and I was marched before the Commander, salute the Commander. Requestment. Junior Assistant Cook White. “Yes White, what is it?” I said, “I’ve had an idea Sir I’d like to suggest.” “Go on then.” I told him and he said “Lad” he said, “Sailors have been tying cap ribbons since 1877. You think after four months in the Navy, you know…” No… “Four minutes in the Navy, you know a better way of doing, get out of my sight!”